There is no right or wrong schedule for your family. My husband and I decided our family would benefit from a schedule that encouraged self-initiated, isolated sleep.
This lead us to baby wise - Becoming baby Wise - In short, baby wise schedules are built around an EAT, PLAY, then SLEEP cycle. This format helps your baby disassociate eating (nursing or bottle feedings) with falling asleep.
Starting with the first feeding of the day, wake and feed your baby. Then, change their diaper and allow them to stay awake for an appropriate wake time for their age. Then put baby down for a nap. There will be days or seasons that your baby may fight naps or need some assistance getting to sleep. That is ok! Some days I even nursed my little one to sleep if nothing else worked, but those occasions were rare. I talk more about our specific schedule and strategies we used with both of our boys on a separate blog post (scroll to bottom for links to specific age blog posts)
How to start building a schedule:
(or skip to the bottom for pictures of our schedules)
1. What time would you like baby to wake up in the morning?
-with Maverick, I was teaching and wanted to nurse him before going to work. So his day was scheduled to start at 6:30
-with Charley, I am staying home. My only consideration was that Maverick wakes at 8 so I should begin Charley's day at least 30 minutes prior to to allow time for nursing, changing his diaper, etc. before going to wake up by oldest. So, Charley's schedule starts at 7:00
2. How often does baby eat?
-Maverick ate every 1-2 hours
-Charley eats every 2-3 hours
3. BOOM- you have your schedule
Wake: 7:00 *feed then change diaper*
Play: minimal for the first 2 weeks *eating is included in wake time*
Sleep: swaddle, soothe, and put baby in bassinet or crib to sleep.
Honestly, for the first week (or 2.. or 3...) we may have held our newborn more than suggested. Why? We wanted to ensure he was getting some full naps, we were exhausted and fell asleep with him, or because he's our newborn and we want to get all the snuggles we can!
Keep repeating that cycle until you've reached the end of your day. Starting the next wake time at 2, 3, or 4 hours from the first wake time -depending on their eating frequency-. I suggest waking baby during the day to keep them on schedule. This helps to ensure they do not sleep for too long of stretches (leading to day/night confusion) and eventually they will naturally follow the schedule you have created.
At the 11:00 pm feeding I want baby to STAY ASLEEP. So, I change his diaper before feeding him (and again after if he poops). Then right back to "bed" there is no play time in this cycle, or any cycle after this until the morning (7:00 feed).
These schedules are the [PLAN] for how we want our little guy to sleep... but, that did not always happen.
The plan - merge 1 - is that by week 3 baby is only waking in the middle of the night for 1 feed. Maverick (baby 1) did not complete this merge until month 3 and Charley (baby 2) did not complete this merge until week 6. With baby #2 we were much better at implementing and keeping a schedule, which really paid off.
The plan - merge 2 - is that by week 7 baby is sleeping "through the night." Medically speaking, sleeping through the night is 5 hours. Maverick (baby 1) was sleeping through the night by 6 months. Technically, Charley began sleeping through the night around 8 or 9 weeks (5 hours). But by our definition - from bedtime to morning wake, 8 hours - Charley first slept through the night at 9 weeks old. He slept from 11 pm to 7 am for 2 nights in a row. Then, had a few nights where he woke for 1 feed or woke an hour early, but each week the nights of sleep from 11 to 7 became more consistent until it was the norm. Again, with baby #2 we were much better implementing a schedule. And remember, at this point there is not schedule at night. The daytime schedules is what influences the nighttime sleep habits.
As time goes by you will become better at scheduling your day around naps and feeds.
Some people say we got lucky with Baby #2. But I say, we just got better. If you have tried babywise, or any kind of scheduling/sleep training you know it's not an easy task. It is easier (in the moment) to nurse your baby to sleep, to let them stay awake when they fight against naps, or to rock them all night to get a moment of peace. However, in the end, giving your child the gift of independence in their sleeping habits is an amazing thing. Knowledge comes from conflict. For our children to grow, we have to allow them to experience that conflict. That means sometimes, your have to allow your child to struggle through the process (with your support and reassurance) for them to learn.
Being a parent is sometimes about doing the hard thing. When it comes to sleep, I've learned there is nothing more difficult than getting out of bed and starting the day at 7:00 am even though it's Saturday and your child has decided to sleep past their normal wake time. But, you get them up anyways because you know (from experience) how much better the day is, how much more safe children feel when they know what to expect, when they have a schedule.
You got this mom/dad! From a mom who has made it to the other side of nighttime feedings you can do this.
- PDF of Schedules -
Want more detailed information about out day? Click below
Weeks 10 - 15
Weeks 16 - 24
Weeks 24 - 40